Release Date? More like Release Wait!

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In two days, it’s February 18th.  This is a significant date for a few reasons.  It is the day when Pluto was discovered.  It marks the first publication of Mark Twain in the United States.  It is the day when the following people died: Johnny Paycheck, noted songwriter, Dale Earnhardt, noted race car driver and Martin Luther, noted religious leader/race car driver.

It is also the date when Amazon.co.uk claims that Tome of the Undergates is being released.

You’ll undoubtedly have both noticed the specific wording of that sentence and have undoubtedly come to the conclusion that I am not nearly as clever as I think I am for making that up, so I’ll just cut to the point.

Tome of the Undergates is coming out April 15th, 2010 and not February 18th, 2010.

You are likely irritated, I know.  And frankly, I’m just as pissed off as you are.  I would try to explain that Amazon tends to just throw out whatever date they feel is sexy, but you’re much too clever for that, knowing full well that there is no such thing as a world in which Amazon does not have your well-being as their foremost priority.  I could tell you that the publisher has the final word in the release date and that they’ve been telling me (and Amazon) this for ages now, but that’s hardly satisfactory.

So, like you, I went for the true culprit behind this.

Myself.

In an attempt to get to the bottom of this particular set of corporate shenanigans, I tracked down and cornered myself and drew me into a hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners interview.  The shocking results are below.

Hello, Sam Sykes, and welcome to this hard-hitting, buffalo-style interview.

Thanks, Sam, happy to be here.

You don’t mean that, but the dulcet tones of your rolling baritone have convinced me that you are telling the truth and want me to be safe, not unlike an old man whispering as he strokes a kitten.  Tell me, Sam Sykes, how do you manage to maintain such lurid vocals?

It’s true that I am often known for my melodic siren call that has driven women to hurl themselves off cliffs (in adoration for me, no doubt), and while I am loathe to share my secret, I will give you this one key phrase: dolphin menses.

That is both horrifying and arousing.  So, speaking frankly, Sam, what’s the real deal behind release dates?

Believe me, I’m just as angry as you.

Are you sure?  I just kicked my niece down a staircase to show her how cruel the world can be.

I’m almost as angry as you, then.  But the truth of the matter is that, while Amazon does throw out release dates like they’re no big thing, it ultimately fell to me to produce more information to the readers.  I could have done more, I know…I should have done more.

No, Sam!  There was nothing you could do!  That war was hell on all of us.  One man couldn’t be expected to pay Charon’s toll all by himself…the dead…they were too many.

I’m done living with excuses, Sykes.  I’m done living with the pain and the fear.  I’m done living with closing my eyes and seeing them all again, cut down by Amazon, waiting for the release and never getting it.  I’m done with…I’m just done.

Don’t do it, Sykes!  Sykes!  Sykes?

…

Sykes?

…

SYYYYYYYYYYYKES!

…and there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.  Samuel Sykes, that magnificent stallion, came and went into our lives with nary more than a thought and a release date that he so valiantly gave his life correcting for us.  Let us not remember him as the coward who stood by idly while corporations made release dates that no one confirmed, but rather, let us know him as he was in those last moments when he made right and gave his very essence to set the world alight with his passion.

For in those last moments…we saw him, the true Samuel Sykes.

That was beautiful.

Thank you…wait a moment, you’re supposed to be dead!

I was going to, but then I stopped off to get a milkshake.

I just told the audience you were dead!

That was sweet of you!

What am I supposed to tell them now?

Well, I did actually suffer for this milkshake.  It was cold.

…

REALLY cold.  I might have got a brain freeze.  So you weren’t in vain or anything.

…

Sykes!  Sykes?

SYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY–

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Speculative Horizons

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Welcome, welcome, to our next round of exciting interviews on the state of the genre.  Today, we catch a glimpse on one of my most favorite blogs: Speculative Horizons by James Long.

It’s not that I don’t love all blogs equally, of course.  Rather, it’s just that James and I have very similar tastes in terms of fantasy books.  We like our meat raw, our coffee black and our heroes composed of equal parts moral grayness and deep philosophical quandaries in regards to violence and how it’s used to relate to the world around them and the people they care about deeply.

What?  No, that is definitely a manly thing to talk about.  Shut up!  Go to the interview!

Let’s take a moment to consider the state of your blog.  You’re considered one of the more acerbic and violent bloggers, unafraid to get into the fray of every conflict imaginable (those doubting me need only see your input on the latest George R.R. Martin updates).  I also notice you like exceedingly violent stories like KELL’S LEGEND (by Andy Remic).  Do you think this is reflected in what books you prefer and should we consider you the go-to guy for all things furious?

Acerbic – at times. But violent?! Anyone who hasn’t previously heard of my blog is probably now entertaining the following episode in their heads: me, standing over a bloodied author, fist clenched as I scream a torrent of expletives in between punches: “Nope, clumsy use of exposition.” SMACK. “How dare you offend my eyes with such wooden prose!” SMACK. “And here’s one more for the BLOODY HOODED FIGURE ON THE COVER!” SMACK. And yes, I know it’s mostly not the author’s fault they’ve got a bloke-in-a-cloak on their cover, but by this stage of the interrogation I’ve lost all sense of reason.

In all seriousness though, I don’t set out to be controversial or confrontational at all. I just happen to be tremendously passionate about the genre, and am not afraid to be brutally honest about what I think. Sometimes this passion, mixed with a healthy dose of dry British wit, can come across quite strongly. But I think that’s good – it often provokes a response, it gets people talking. I’m not afraid to get involved in some of the furious debates – in fact, I think it’s necessary at times. If we want to promote and improve our genre, it’s important to analyse (and often criticise) the elements that drag it down – like all this anti-GRRM bullshit, and the marketing obsession with hooded figures (the former is simply ridiculous, while the latter might help sales but it also makes the epic fantasy genre look stale and predictable).
Anyway, to answer your question: I don’t think the books I prefer are really linked to my occasionally blunt, unflinching attitude. It just so happens that epic fantasy is my thing, and this particular genre (especially these days) involves a large degree of violence.  In truth it’s not the violence I really enjoy (although there are exceptions – the duel between the Red Viper of Dorne and the Mountain That Rides in A Storm of Swords is one of the greatest sequences ever written in epic fantasy – but more the sense of wonder you get from fantasy, the sense of adventure. I just like to lose myself for a while in a different world where I can watch people struggling with their own problems, rather than worrying about my own. And anyway, I’m a peaceful guy really. I like having a cup of coffee and some cake. I like fluffy bunny rabbits. Although I do have a replica of a medieval flail in my closet – just in case.
Let’s go ahead and assume you are a deeply disturbed sociopath with a love for gore, then.  How do you think it’s figured into the fantasy of 2009?  Do you suppose 2010 looks better for all things action-adventure-swords-up-the-butt?

There’s no doubt that epic fantasy has become grittier in recent years – there’s more of a sense of realism about many of the books, a warts-and-all approach. In part I think it reflects the change in western society – violence is everywhere these days, on the TV, in the newspapers, on the internet, and I think fantasy has altered to mirror this. While it’s not an aspect that bothers me (truth to tell, I prefer my fantasy hard-edged with greater realism) I do think at times we’re at risk of losing the sense of wonder that fantasy can give you. Sometimes I feel that this whole blood-and-guts approach is merely disguising the fact that some of these books aren’t that inventive. Still, it’s a trend that I don’t think will go away any time soon.
You avoided the accusation of sociopathy quite skillfully, sir.  Perhaps those bunnies affected you more deeply than one might think.  Let’s get balls-deep into a piece that strikes me pretty squarely.  How much does cover art really affect you?

I won’t ever dismiss a book purely on the basis of its cover, though a bad cover certainly won’t encourage me to pick the book up. But cover art is massively important – why do you think we’ve seen such a torrent of hooded figures gracing the covers of fantasy books? Because for some reason they appeal to the casual reader, and they’re the biggest market. We have to remember that – as brilliant and passionate as online fandom is – we represent a small slice of the potential market. So for each one of us who vomits up our breakfast over another hooded figure cover, there’s a hundred people who think “Oh cool, another book about a badass assassin – where’s my wallet?”
While I completely understand and accept the commercial reasons for these covers, I think they’re dangerous. As I said above, they make the genre look stale and unprogressive. Worse, some readers assume that because one book has a similar cover to another one they enjoyed, that it’s going to be as good. I saw a guy recently comment online that he knew an upcoming Orbit book was going to be great, because “it has a cover like the other ones, so I know I’m going to get a great read.” That worries me. To some degree it feels like publishers are not promoting individual books or authors, but a collective brand instead – hence the similar covers. And I don’t like that, since it feels too much like a conveyor belt. Come on, is too much to ask for a little bit of originality now and again?
As a man who is watching the debuts of 2010 roll in as though they were a pit fight (thankfully, they aren’t, since I’m pretty sure N.K. Jemisin can kick my ass), let me ask you about your hopes for the debuts of the new year.
Well, there’s a book called Tomb of the Undergarments, or something, which I hear has been written by a chap who recently escaped from a secure medical complex where he was undergoing intensive anger-management courses, so I might check that out (by the way, like a Lannister I always pay my debts – that ‘Tomb of the Undergarments’ gag was originally made by Adam from the Wertzone, though I’m sure he won’t mind me using it – free publicity 4tw!).
Seriously though, I expect there to be one or two solid debuts this year. In recent years, there’s always been one debut that has accrued more hype than the others, and became that year’s ‘big deal’, so it’ll be interesting to see which novel takes that title this year. Paul Hoffman’s The Left Hand of God has already caused quite a stir, with opinion split almost entirely down the middle. I expect Blake Charlton’s Spellwright to do pretty well, though I don’t think it’s for me. I liked the sound of Col Buchanan’s Farlander until I read a sample, and now my interest in that book has cooled somewhat. I’m hearing good things about The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin too – one to watch, the prose from what I’ve read seems good. But overall I’d have to say that Tome of the Undergates looks like the debut of 2010 – what else could I say when you’ve got a HUGE MACHETE pressed against my throat?
And thank you, sir, for guaranteeing I will never live that parodied title down!
Well, that was pretty good, wasn’t it?  For those of you concerned: don’t worry.  Despite a mild slip-up due to my eating chicken fingers before pressing the machete to his throat, he lost a minimal amount of blood and I’m at least 90% sure that the number I dialed was emergency services.  The guy was sort of mumbling into the phone and I asked him to send an ambulance and he asked me if I wanted that extra spicy, but I think that might just be code for something.
Anyway, once again, assuming James survived, please check him out at Speculative Horizons and stay tuned for our next guest!

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Crap crap crap crap crap crap

2 Comments /

Some of you may have gotten an email from me on behalf of goodreads, imploring you to come check out my shelves.

Rest assured, this was not an act of malice, but rather me willfully and stupidly clicking a link that wasn’t an idea to add everyone I saw on the list to my goodreads list, but rather one that sent a spam forward to everyone. I assure you my shelves are not at all worth checking out and you should disregard that email and possibly not curse my name.

Also, blame Mark Chitty, because I was signing up to see his review. He’s the one at fault!

Crap crap crap crap crap crap Read More »

The Book Smugglers

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Alright, friends!  It’s time to kick off TALES FROM THE BLOG O’ SPHERE with my first interviewees…

Why The Book Smugglers? Well, it’s certainly not because they had me over for a guest blog themselves awhile back!  Goodness knows it’s not that.  Rather, it’s because Ana and Thea, the two ladies under suspicion of smuggling literature themselves, are some of the most diverse and busy bloggers in the industry today.

Reading everything from fantasy to paranormal romance to young adult to vampire-free romance at a blistering pace that makes lesser bloggers quiver in fear, these two ladies are some of the most attentive and active members of the community today.  Please join me as we discuss issues in these genres…with ladies.

Let’s survey your blog, at first: you ladies cover everything from YA to paranormal romance to romance without vampires to fantasy and beyond.  Would it be fair to say your tastes are eclectic, or do you think you simply know what you like and you tend to find it translates across genres?  Has it been a good year for those tastes?  Do you suppose the impending debuts of 2010 (there are a heap!) will also serve you well?

Thea: I think it’s a bit of both actually (eclecticism and we know what we like). One thing I think that is awesome about both Ana and myself is how willing we are to try different genres – because, ultimately, a good story is a good story regardless of the genre its filed under. We’re not snobs to say if something’s shelved as a “paranormal romance” or “literary fiction” that we won’t read it. Heck, you’d probably miss out on so many excellent stories out there if you discriminated based on genre! The thing that’s important to me is how entertaining, how thought-provoking, and how meaningful a book is. Strong characters, plotting, and writing will always be welcome on The Book Smugglers!

So far 2010 has been pretty good in terms of reading quality. Ana’s had more winners than I have so far, but I’ve already read a few very memorable books (dystopian SF thriller VERACITY by Laura Bynum, hard scifi TITAN by Stephen Baxter, delightful chick-lit paranormal NICE GIRLS DON’T HAVE FANGS by Molly Harper, to name a few). There are a TON of 2010 debuts that have me pretty giddy. The aforementioned VERACITY was a solid debut, and i’m also looking forward to BIRTH MARKED by Caragh O’Brien, GUARDIAN OF THE DEAD by Karen Healey, THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS by N.K. Jemisin, THE POISON THRONE by Celine Kiernan, SPELLWRIGHT by Blake Charlton…I’m forgetting a few, but there are many promising debuts out there this year. So far, I’ve only really been disappointed with MR. SHIVERS by Robert Jackson Bennett, but I’m hoping that’s the exception, not the rule.

Oh yeah and there’s also some joker who wrote TOMES OF…something. Or something like that. Might give him a try too….

ANA: Yes, I agree. It is both – being eclectic and knowing what I like. Although one is highly dependent on the other. Because I am eclectic I am open to trying new things, therefore what I like changes all the time. I am always discovering new genres, new subgenres whenever I dare to go outside comfort zones.    The bottom line is I simply cannot envision myself sticking to one genre, not only because I truly think I would be bored silly but because there are good stories everywhere.

So far, this year has been an awesome year for reading. YA BLEEDING VIOLET by Dia Reeves and Fantasy THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS by NK Jemisin were both amazing read, some of the best I have ever read. And Paranormal Romance ARCHANGEL’S KISS by Nalini Singh was pretty good too (see what I mean? Eclectic indeed) . As for debuts that I am looking forward to…..so many!

THE POISON THRONE by Celine Kiernan, WOLFSANGEL by M.D. Lachlan, basically the entire ANGRY ROBOT catalogue, plus several YA books. I don’t know about this one book called TOME OF THE UNDERGATES though. That much water on the cover….makes me nervous.

Did you know you are both girls?!  It’s baffling!  What’s more, you are girl BLOGGERS.  Let us take a moment for this to seep into the minds of people everywhere…okay, now let’s talk about “what women want.”  What are your thoughts on demographics?  Do you suppose female readers want different things from their fantasy and YA?  Or do we all pretty much want the same thing: love, hate, conflict and gore, just in different doses?  Do you find your views on certain books differ wildly from male bloggers or is a crappy book just crappy all around?

ANA: Weeeeeeeeeell, Sam.

Do female readers want different things from their fantasy and YA? Do male readers of fantasy live in their parents basements and have no social life?  How are we supposed to know what all “female readers” want? Thea and I are both female readers and we both want very different things from our books. We are not all the same you know, just because we share the same gender. I bet the same can be said about you guys.

This need to separate readers by gender is perhaps where the problem lies: a chromosome is not an imperative for whether a person wants gore or romance. To say that women don’t read Fantasy because we don’t like gore or conflict would be the same thing as to say that all men don’t like romance and emotions. Isn’t that a little of a gross generalisation? There’s gotta be room for personal preference and cultural background and a myriad of other factors.

Having said that: if we don’t think that genetics is not necessarily a determinant factor on what a person reads, perhaps cultural background  is. So, in a society like ours where female rights have only started to take hold a few decades ago, it doesn’t surprise us that people think that males read gore and female read romance and that people tend to navigate towards these genres accordingly. As time changes and opportunities open, more and more women read fantasy and more and more women are writing it too. YA for example, is replete with kickass female authors writing amazing speculative fiction.

An aside: We have to say that we were highly amused to see how people were surprised (and even furious in some cases) at the amount of women attending Comic Con. Because what? We can’t?

And to answer your other question: is a crappy book just crappy all around? As much as we would like to think so, if there is one thing we have learnt in these past two years of book reviewing is that there are no absolutes when it comes to reading. There are books we loved that other people hated and books we thought were absolute crap and other people hailed as the bestest ever. We do believe that certain things cannot be argued though: a shoddy plot, spelling mistakes, a poorly edited book but beyond that….reading and reviewing is really, a very subjective art. And this is why we think that yes, sometimes our opinions differ from other bloggers, but only because we are different PEOPLE not because they are male and we female. At least that’s how we see it, and we sure hope that’s how they see it too. Because otherwise you know: Thea is really, REALLY good with a chainsaw and I know how to get rid of the evidence.

We BET you did not know this question was a hornet’s nest did you, now? On second thought….maybe you did. Well played mister Sam.

THEA: Yeah, what Ana said! *revs chainsaw*

I find the whole stereotype thing (Only DUDES like horror! Only CHICKS like romance!) to be hilarious. I am probably the least romantic person you will ever meet, and I have an addiction to horror, gore, and an impressive collection of B-horror films and comic books.

My point is, these labels are silly. People, in general, like what they like. I don’t think you can generalize based on gender, because…well, not all women or men are the same. Some folks like romance. Some like zombies. Some like a weird combination of the two (hello, BREATHERS). Every reader has their own criteria, their own preferences of what they look for in a book. I think we all just want to be entertained, engrossed in the books we read.

And thank you for not drawing attention to the fact that I live in a basement!

There’s a lot of griping about cover art lately, but you’re one of the few that have an entirely different beef with covers.  We can agree that whitewashing covers (the practice of putting a lighter-skinned character on a cover when the actual character is darker) is a pretty reprehensible practice, misrepresenting the author and the reader alike.  How prevalent do you suppose this issue is?  Do you think more needs to be done to prevent it?  On a tougher note, do books actually suffer sales or see increased profits with whitewashing?  And what is your opinion of this?

THEA: Covers are a popular point of contention with bloggers all over the interwebs. We love fellow blogger Aidan Moher’s COVER SPOTLIGHT feature, and agree with a lot of his commentary concerning the general blandness of certain cover art. But yes, some issues are much more important than others – namely, whitewashing.

Whitewashing is a shockingly widespread practice, and it’s one that has been prevalent for a very long time. And it’s a problem in the speculative fiction genre, too. Anyone that’s read Ursula LeGuin knows that a majority of her characters are of darker skin tone, and yet early covers (and casting for that insipid EARTHSEA adapted miniseries from SciFi a few years back) depict white skinned characters.

This is to say nothing of the fact that in fantasy, science fiction and horror, or young adult literature, the overwhelming majority of protagonists are caucasian/European descent. Even in books with characters of color, they usually aren’t depicted on the cover (see for example Neil Gaiman’s AMERICAN GODS or Alison Goodman’s EON). But that’s besides the point. Whitewashing is a racist practice that has been around for a long time, and one that publishers continue to use. It’s infuriating. There is no justification for changing a character’s race on a cover. That’s an active choice on the part of the publisher, and that’s racism, plain and simple. So yeah, you could say that we think there ought to be more done to prevent it!

As to the second part of your question, the popular rationale for whitewashing of covers is this idea that books with POC (persons of color) on the cover “don’t sell.” Is that true? Does whitewashing mean higher sales for a book? I don’t think so. I don’t think there’s any solid conclusive data to back that statement up – and part of that is because there are so few covers out there with POC on them (check out one survey done by a blogger cited at Racebending.com, in which a paltry 2% of 775 YA books looked at had POC on the covers). In a sense, yeah, books with POC on the covers don’t sell – but that’s because there AREN’T any significant number of POC on covers to begin with.

And considering the recycled, horrible crap that many publishing houses put out as covers, justifying whitewashing with the rationale that POC covers don’t sell seems more than a little disingenuous.

ANA: Exactly. More than that, it is a freaking insulting rationale too.

Now, what can be done to prevent it? On the part of the publishers: a more decisive, careful approach to covers. There’s gotta be a better communication between cover artists and editors. A lot of the times we hear the excuse that people working on the cover don’t even know what the book is about, but that cover  must go through several stages of approval by people that HAVE. Plus, if you are going to publish a book with a POC protagonist in it, OWN it, put that person on the cover. As for readers, the only thing we can do is to buy those books who have POC to show by way of numbers, that we don’t care who is on the cover as long as it is accurate!

Before becoming bloggers, we had no idea about these issues and how prevalent it was. The outcry surrounding the cover of Liar by Justine Larbarlestier and more recently Magic Under Glass by Jaclyn Dolamore (and also, last year the whole RaceFail09) were huge eye openers. We are not leaders of any movement nor do we see ourselves as especially knowledgeable (it is a learning curve for us as well) but we like to think that we definitely part of the solution not part of the problem.

And thank you, Ana and Thea, for being our first guest!  I hope everyone found it just as insightful and perhaps less threatening than I did!  Tune in later in the week for more guests and more interviews!

Also: no, I don’t know what that thing on the MSPaint banner is supposed to be.

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Tales From the Blog O’ Sphere

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I know what you’re thinking: “What’s this?  TWO blog posts by Sam Sykes, notorious recluse and totally humble guy who has never once told anyone how much he can bench, in the span of a few days?!  I must be dreaming!”

Well, I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but you are dreaming!  This just the final conclusion to your years-long slumber.  As soon as you finish this sentence, you will wake up and discover that you are the person who invented the prostitute android model known as Sexbot 5000, after which you sold the patent and will awake to your own personal robotic harem and millions of dollars!

…

HAH!  No, I’m kidding.  You’re still just a geek reading a blog by a bigger geek.  But, if you set your dreams a little lower, you might just find that they’ll come true with this blog post…assuming your dream was to get in-depth interviews from a very powerful, handsome author.

No, I’m not talking about the recent interview I did with Floor to Ceiling Books (that one’s cool, though, you should probably check it out).  Rather, I’m talking about…

TALES FROM THE BLOG O’ SPHERE

For the past week, I’ve been keeping silently speaking with/blackmailing/harassing sexually various well-known fantasy bloggers.  My goal: to gather an in-depth, collective “state of the genre” address through various contributors on topics like New Releases, Cover Art, Gender-Specific Reading (these answers may shock and horrify you), Issues in the Genre, Most Anticipated and Blogger Tastes.

These have been going on for about a week now and I really couldn’t be more pleased with the outcome.  A lot of bloggers, rather than just spitting on me like they usually do, actually came out and offered unique insights into the genre and literary criticism as a whole.  I had a lot of fun with this project and I think you will, too.

Appearing on the List (in order of how handsome they find Sam Sykes):

Not appearing:

Pretty good line-up, right?  Lots of blooming minds and deep thoughts, keeps the riff-raff out…yeah, I think we’re going to enjoy this.

TALES FROM THE BLOG O’ SPHERE begins within the next two days and continues until we hit them all!  Keep your eyes on this space for great interviews and spectacular insight into the genre!

If you don’t watch, I’ll know.

And I’ll find you.

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Do Y’all Wanna Talk About Reviews?

12 Comments /

Attention!  Sam Sykes does not disagree with the nature of bloggers!  Nor does he consider bloggers a waste of time or their opinions invalid!  Sam Sykes is a friend to all bloggers and has an excellent repartee with every one of them he’s met so far!  If Sam Sykes could physically make love to all the bloggers he knew, he would!  He has even threatened them with such before!  Such is the depth of his love!

That particular horrifying message (it sure wasn’t the first and I doubt it’ll be the last, even in this post) is made just because I’m sure there may be some who would accuse me of being overly defensive, stepping on bloggers’ toes or just being a sensitive prick.  I refute this both through the disclaimer above and the fact that I’m not even going to be talking about my books in this post.

We are, however, talking a book.  A book, and the people who read it.  The people who read it and the blogs they write.  The blogs they write and the women who love them.  The women who love them and the emus they raise.

That got a bit ridiculous, apologies.

We are, in fact, talking about The Left Hand of God.  Wait, what?  No, no, the other one.  No, not the right hand.  The left hand!  Paul Hoffman’s The Left Hand of God.  This is one of the “big” debuts of 2010, apparently, having received a lot of attention, apparently.  I’ll take peoples’ collective word for this, as I haven’t heard anything.  Nor have I heard anything about my own book besides what people tell me, but that’s really more of a personal fault.  At any rate, the book seems to be very much either a “love it” or “hate it” kind of book.

The Speculative Scotsman does not love it.

I advise you take a moment to read that, as there’s some genuinely cool discussion that goes on there.  Go ahead.  I’ll wait.  Maybe I’ll go to the bathroom while you finish.

…

Done?  Good.  Now read this follow-up.  I’m not linking you these articles because I was mentioned in one them and contributed to both, but rather because I feel we could use a discussion about the whole dang thing.  I’m going to clarify a few points here: one, I like Mr. Alexander, the Speculative Scot himself.  Two, I have never read The Left Hand of God.  And three: I think, if you have an inkling to, you should read it.

Now, I can see you other speculative Scots hoisting your haggis in preparation for hurling, but I must ask you to stay your intestinal projectiles for a moment while I clarify a few more things.

You will notice that I never said Mr. Alexander was wrong to say what he did.  You will also notice that Mr. Alexander did not recant in the slightest.  I would never ask him to do that and, if he had any integrity (and he has lots), he would never recant because I asked him to.  He’s perfectly justified in telling us exactly what he feels about the book.  What’s more, he’s doing his job: to give us his opinion and tell us why he thinks that way.  This is what we expect from our blogs and they give us exactly that.

But that’s what we ask from them.  And that’s all we give them.  The only thing we can take from Mr. Alexander’s review is that he didn’t like the book.

I mention this because I see a lot of people occasionally looking at a blog and taking gray areas and putting them in black and white.  They look at a review and say: “Oh, this book is bad, but this book is great.”  This simply isn’t the case.  As I said in the follow-up post, all we know is that the book didn’t work for Mr. Alexander.  It might work for Mr. Peabody or Mr. Malone or Mrs. Hoffwoman, but not for this fellow.  This is great.  This is perfect.  This is a guideline and, as I said, if our tastes are similar to Mr. Alexander’s, then chances are good that we’ll also share a similar point of view on the book.

Or will we?

The greatest thing about books is not only do they work for different people, they work on different levels, entirely.  You can give the same book to ten different people and, while they may share similar views on certain aspects of the book, chances are they’ll also find something entirely different that no one else saw.  This is what makes books special: they are interactive.  You don’t just read them.  They speak to you.  You find things in them that some people miss.  Your favorite books are probably just so because they do the same thing to you.

For example, look at Patrick Rothfuss’ book: The Name of the Wind. An excellent book, by all rights, but there’s a sharp divide between opinions of the main character, Kvothe.  On the surface, he seems to be an arrogant blowhard, and the book is just a bunch of pages of a guy talking about how great he is.  But that’s the surface.  Beneath that, we’re left with a wonder of his true personality: what’s he covering up?  What’s he lying about?  What’s his story?  Is he the snobby punk we see him as?  Or is he something more?  If you’re looking to me for answers, I really have no idea.  Other people have a good idea, though, and theirs are all equally special and that’s what makes the book such a success and why people continue to love it.

This is my main point: if you feel a pull toward a book, read it.  If someone else tells you it’s bad, still read it.  If someone else who shares a lot of your opinions and tastes still says it’s bad, still read it.  Because chances are that whatever caused you to be drawn to that book in the first place you will find again in its pages and discover something you didn’t think you would.

Now to clarify two other points: this does not mean you should buy every book you see and this does not mean that bloggers are at all pointless.

To discuss the first part: you definitely should research a book before you buy it.  But perhaps you’d do well to listen to your instincts more than you might?  Study the review and see what appeals to you.  If you feel a pull just from the description of the book, it might be well worth it to check it out.  In the reviews of Tome of the Undergates (I’m just bringing it up as an example!  This does not count as a plug!), some people see the amount of gore, violence and intercharacter bickering and blanch (these people are wicked who you can see in every day life by the fact that they’re eating children and kicking puppies…maybe), while others jump up and down and get really giddy and curl up into a little ball of ecstasy at the mention of a long fight scene.

To discuss the latter: bloggers definitely do play a role in this proposed method of thought.  And that role is the same they’ve been playing for ages: giving us their opinion.  In this, they serve a few roles.  For one, they actually tell us what the book is about and we can judge if it’s something we like.  For two, they can expose us to the inverse of that “pull.”  If you feel a sudden revulsion to a book, then it might be worth passing on it.  Likewise, if you find a certain blogger has never steered you wrong in the past, they probably won’t steer you wrong this time.

But, let’s be totally honest: books aren’t too expensive.  Between eBooks, paperbacks, used bookstores and sites that cater to them, you can probably find all the books you want.  Hell, let’s be really honest: if you’re a serious reader (and I have no doubts that you are) and you’re starving, a shiny new book and a loaf of bread, to you, is a very difficult decision.

Just remember: there’s a wealth of books out there and you owe it to yourself to listen to you, first and foremost, when buying them.  You never quite know what you’re going to find: something your favorite reviewer missed, something you never thought you might discover in any book and, nine times out of ten if you go to a public library, hobo poop.

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Slow News Day

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It’s true, I did have great plans for my first news post of the new website.

It was originally going to be a tale of daring-do and daring-don’t, the staunchly provocative and highly erotic story in which Alex Bell and I quadruplehandedly took down a smuggling ring led by Joe Abercrombie using only a coffee can, a high caliber taser and our guts.

It was going to be pretty good.  You might have crapped your pants.  As I happen to think you look quite good in those, though, I decided against it.

Still, points need to be made in regards to our fancy new site.

First of all: the contact form.  For reasons unknown, it sends all people trying to contact me to the Spam Filter, perhaps suggesting, in that pretentious, wordless way it often does, that you are all beneath my notice?  I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth.  I am so committed to maintaining contact with you, my gentle readers, that I have frequently put off several engagements, including my own arranged marriage, to stay in touch.

As a result, I lost the dowry and no longer have a shiny new bicycle.  But you’re worth it, readers.

At any rate, if you’ve yet to receive a response from me, please send it again and demand a free hug and I will probably give it to you.

Second Points Bulletin: The facebook link is broken, yes.  I promise you I’ll get it back up when I get my facebook page working.

Third Item of Interest: Y’all heard of Eastercon?  It’s apparently big news in Britain, bigger even than the Beatles, who were supposedly bigger than Jesus, who trounced Zoroastrianism in the polls.  By that logic, then, Eastercon is bigger than a major religion, a messiah and a rock band.

This is big.

And I am going to it.  I will be there most days, maybe doing a panel or something similar?  And also hanging out with the boys from Sci-Fi London, probably doing an interview with them…maybe going to a strip club…a strip club with girls. It’ll be pretty intense, guys, and I seriously hope you’ll see me there so I can complete my Herculean labors and challenges that have been issued to me by the British public.

Standing Challenges:

So, yeah, only a few good announcements and…what’s that?  You want more?

Oh, very well.  Here, have the fruits of today’s labor:

Can you identify them all?!

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Darksiders

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There’s no shortage of authors out there who will eagerly claim that games (usually role-playing games) influenced them and their work greatly. Frequently, if you’re too old to remember what to do with wooden nickels (don’t take them!), it’s Dungeons and Dragons that you cut your teeth on. But video games account for a lot these days, too.

With greatly unabashed sincerity, I say that video games influence my work more than is probably wise to admit to for a man hoping to be taken seriously. One, in particular, really had a lot to do with my adoration of secondary worlds, heroic adventures and putting pointy things into other fleshy things.

The Legend of Zelda.

For those of you who don’t know, Zelda is pretty much the same game over and over: mute, pointy-eared hero embarks on quest to gather a variety of tools to defeat glowering, coal-skinned villain and save talkative, pointy-eared princess. This is done through a variety of interesting dungeons, giant monsters and occasionally, an entirely different universe.

This was the first game I played for my Super Nintendo back when I was 11 and I went absolutely nuts for it. I loved everything from the dungeon-delving to the puzzles to the very, very understated relationship between Link and Zelda (it’s very hard to convey romance with a guy who does not utter a single word). Ever since then, I’ve wasted countless hours of my life on Zelda games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Wind Waker and especially Twilight Princess.

Thus, when I heard of a post-Biblical apocalypse Zelda-themed dungeon adventure game by the name of “Darksiders,” I was pretty ecstatic. I checked it out pretty thoroughly: giant monsters, gathered weapons, puzzles, dungeons and exploration of a vast and alien world.

By all rights, I should have liked this game.

As it is…it’s alright.

Let’s start with the gameplay: pretty good, actually. You get a variety of weapons to kill your enemies and get some nice God of War-style finishers to finish off wounded enemies (though there isn’t actually a point to most of them, since killing them by a finisher or just beating them up gives you the same amount of “souls” or currency). You fight through dungeons, solve puzzles and explore an Earth that was ruined when the Apocalypse began prematurely, leaving all humanity zombie food for various demons.

And therein is the problem: there is no humanity to this game.

The story, on the surface, is kind of cool: you are War, a Horseman of the Apocalypse and servant of the Charred Council, a legislative body of omnipotent beings created to govern the war between Heaven and Hell. You were called to Earth before the Apocalypse was supposed to begin and found the war reignited. A century later, mankind is toast, angels and demons use Earth as a battlefield and you’re sent to make things right.

…how? By killing a Destroyer, apparently. This is where my problems fire up.

War is a giant, muscle-bound, long-haired, violent, killing machine. His enemies are various amalgamations of fire, spikes and claws. His allies are supernatural beings that are chiefly concerned with his duty. His duty is to restore the Balance between Heaven and Hell.

And I really don’t give a shit.

Because there’s nothing really at stake here for me. There are no humans left, so War has nothing to really save. The Earth is already destroyed, so he can’t really restore dick. War feels no fear, no pain, no sadness, so I can’t really relate to him. The Destroyer is cloaked in shadow and there’s no doubt that he’s the enemy, so everything I’m doing is just to get closer to him and…that’s it?

This game had almost everything I wanted in a Zelda game. It had tools, giant monsters, lots of fun exploration and a bunch of crazy crap happening. But it lacked one thing: vigor.

Zelda games are, without a doubt, brimming with character. The environments are unique and interesting, the characters are wild and entertaining, the boss battles are epic and Link is instantly relatable, since he’s a tiny dude fighting a big, BIG challenge (for what reason, though? Because Zelda told him to so he could prop up her monarchy? I may have to write a manifesto on this later, but that’s beside the point).

Darksiders has character, but it’s just…eh. The environments are desolate and largely interchangeable (dust here, fire there, spikes here). The characters are entertaining, but not really likeable (demon merchants, demon princes and Mark Hammill). The boss battles are epic (but why wouldn’t they be?) And War is not at all relateable because it’s very, very hard to feel sympathy for a Horseman of the Goddamn Apocalypse.

They both have character. But while Zelda is the bright, cheery kid who occasionally has fits of rage where he goes around hitting chickens with a stick, Darksiders is the gloomy kid who smells like french fries and never talks to you unless he wants to show you his collection of trout skulls.

In short: fun, but not “go nuts” fun. Try it if you’re hard up for Zelda or you just really like whacking zombies with parking meters.

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Cyberabad Days Nominated for 2009 Philip K. Dick Award

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The judges of the 2009 Philip K, Dick Award have announced the list of nominees, and we are absolutely thrilled that Ian McDonald’s Cyberabad Days made the list! Here’s the press release!

For Immediate Release:

 2009 Philip K. Dick Award Nominees Announced

The judges of the 2009 Philip K. Dick Award and the Philadelphia SF Society, along with the Philip K. Dick Trust, are pleased to announce seven nominated works that comprise the final ballot for the award:

BITTER ANGELS by C. L. Anderson (Ballantine Books/Spectra)
THE PRISONER by Carlos J. Cortes (Ballantine Books/Spectra)
THE REPOSSESSION MAMBO by Eric Garcia (Harper)
THE DEVIL’S ALPHABET by Daryl Gregory (Del Rey)
CYBERABAD DAYS by Ian McDonald (Pyr)
CENTURIES AGO AND VERY FAST by Rebecca Ore (Aqueduct Press)
PROPHETS by S. Andrew Swann (DAW Books)

First prize and any special citations will be announced on Friday, April 2, 2010 at Norwescon 33 at the Doubletree Seattle Airport Hotel, SeaTac, Washington.

The Philip K. Dick Award is presented annually with the support of the Philip K. Dick Trust for distinguished science fiction published in paperback original form in the United States.  The award is sponsored by the Philadelphia Science Fiction Society and the Philip K. Dick Trust and the award ceremony is sponsored by the NorthWest Science Fiction Society.  Last year’s winners were EMISSARIES FROM THE DEAD by Adam-Troy Castro (Eos Books) and TERMINAL MIND by David Walton (Meadowhawk Press).  The 2009 judges are Daniel Abraham (chair), Eileen Gunn, Karen Hellekson, Elaine Isaak, and Marc Laidlaw.

For more information, contact the award administration:
David G. Hartwell (914) 769-5545.
Gordon Van Gelder (201) 876-2551

For more information about the Philadelphia Science Fiction Society, http://www.psfs.org/: 
Contact Gary Feldbaum (215) 665-5752

For more information about the Philip K. Dick Trust: www.philipkdick.com

For more information about Norwescon:  http://www.norwescon.org/
Contact NorthWest SF Society: (425) 686-9737

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