We go through life thinking that things are a way they are for a reason. There is safety in predetermination, comfort in destiny, the knowledge that we don’t have to try if we’re not the chosen one, that we don’t have to worry if we are. We search for order in the universe that we may know some semblance of piece amidst a giant rock that is spinning further out of control every year, withering us to dust as it does and robbing lives that had no meaning to begin with. Most of the time, we are content with this.
And then sometimes, something happens that ruins everything.
Ladies…gentlemen…friends, all…
Thor is apparently good.
I was not prepared to hear this. I was ready to write off Thor as a piece of shit the moment I saw the trailer. And who could blame me? Logic was on my side. The rule of three was on my side.
The rule of three is something I deduced after being an ardent fan of the Spider-Man and X-Men movies and it states simply that superhero movies move in a pattern: the first is good, the second is awesome, the third is horrifying. The above franchises should provide adequate proof on that point, yes? Hell, even the Hulk movies have followed this formula, if only because the first one was bad and the second one was okay.
It is why I fear for the third Batman movie, why I fear for the third Iron Man movie (though I hear tell that there’s a sizable faction that disagrees with my position that it was better than the first, these people being clearly heathens). And, elevating that theory higher, it was why I had low hopes for Thor. If we follow the logic that every third movie is awful, then it stands to reason that there is at least one in three Marvel franchises that will be awful too: the Hulk, Daredevil. Between the impending X-Men: First Class (which I gather is a reboot) and Captain America movies, Thor seemed like a prime target.
Apparently, I was wrong.
Two of my favorite bloggers have said it was good. I’m inclined to trust them on this and see for myself, but the fact that the movie has been accepted as “good” by the majority of the populace seems to suggest that, whatever franchise fails, it won’t be Thor.
…so, who will it be?
Fortunately, for you, I’ve set up a fun way to talk about it with…
The Superhero Movie Betting Pool!
Here’s what we are going to do: name the impending superhero movies (of which I am aware of at least four) and decide which ones are going to succeed and fail and why. Why would you do this? This is a fantasy writer’s blog. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably been dying for a reason to say this stuff.
Green Lantern: I predict moderate success. The lack of an un-cliched personal conflict and the vast scope of it will send it reeling into everything we expect from a superhero movie: a reluctant hero, a sudden power, a standard discovery of powers in which the character flies around going “woooooohooooo.” It will be a solid debut, paving the way for future movies, but its adherence will limit its impact.
X-Men: First Class: Less than successful. Much in the same way X-Men Origins: Wolverine was an attempt to crawl back out of the hole the movies had fallen in, this new movie will be one more lost footing and send them sliding closer back. It won’t be bad, as we know it, but it will be underwhelming and leave no particularly intense impressions as they try to establish the origins of a film series that’s already (technically) had an origins story.
Captain America: Bad. Take no prisoners bad. With a plot that lends itself to slightly less impressive effects, a lot of this will fall on the male lead (which has traditionally never been a strong suit of a lot of Marvel movies). It will be a pretty unremarkable mess that is made worse by the fact that it wants to be taken seriously.
The Dark Knight Rises: I’m clinging too much to tradition here, but I’m pessimistic. It won’t fit the conventional definition of bad, but it doesn’t have to to fail. It just has to fail to meet The Dark Knight. A pretty intense task, even without the fact that the addition of Catwoman rings a little too close to another out-of-place fan favorite that ruined a franchise. It’ll be a solid movie, damned by its predecessor.
I don’t always nerd out.
But when I do, I prefer to do it over comic books.
Thor is indeed good. It’s funnier than I thought it was going to be, has some nice cameos and there are also a couple for uber-comic geeks. That being said, I think Green Lantern and Captain America will be better.
Green Lantern is very much an intergalactic story about saving entire worlds and civilisations and in the trailers the whole of Earth is apparently in danger. My only concern with it is the use of CGI. Some bits needed to be, some of the characters are too weird for them not to be, as good as Henson puppets and others might be nowadays. Other bits, I’m not so sure. I’m quietly confident it’s going to do well as long as people can buy into the fantasy and the powers of the Green Lanterns. Otherwise it’s just a bunch of weird people in wetsuits with funky matching jewellery playing lets pretend.
Captain America is my favourite for this year. He’s the underdog, the ordinary joe turned hero, the skinny loser who comes good and saves the day fighting the worst kind of evil in the world ever known to man in our entire history. EVER! People will come out of that film feeling good about themselves and that they’ve done their country a service by paying for a ticket. I expect to see a lot more people saluting each other in the streets instead of shaking hands after this. From what I’ve seen it looks like a great WWII movie with a slice of superheroics, without it being too overt like GL, so it’s going to be easier for people to buy into.
X-Men First Class – I’m not sure. They’re trying to set it up and fit it into the new continuity created in the movies, and if it does well, they might do another one, maybe bring it forward a decade or two. X-Men 4 seems unlikely, but if this cast of characters doesnt work they can go back to old favourites that are more well known. I hope it does well, but I think this one might end up being bottom of the pile.
Oh, and I disagree about the rule of three. My big worry is WB’s plans to do more Batman films after this one, but with a new actor in the cowl and Nolan helping out, but not directing. I fear we’ll see the return of nipples on the batsuit and tight arse shots in black rubber, unless they get J. Nolan and Goyer to write it again.
I really enjoyed Thor, it just goes back to the days of superheroes being huge and overpowered crackinf one-liners like they were going out of fashion.
I am really looking forward to x-men: first class. Not a reboot but an origins story and the trailers look fantastic.
I never really got into Captain America but with The Avengers being filmed I will go see it. Green Lantern is a cool concept and Nolan getting the Inception team together for The Dark Knight Returns looks promising.
I am worried about the superman and batman reboots that are being done just to have a Justice League movie, and that means they may bring out Flash and Aquaman movies… Who knows how things will turn out
I’m actually a bit bored of superhero movies. Part of it has to do with the disgusting price of seeing a movie in the theatre. There are very few activities worth £12 to me. Gambling on Thor (or, honestly, any of the others in the list above) isn’t one of them.
That said, X-Men: First Class has that je ne sais quoi that drags me into the theatre. Clearly a combination of timeless plot, gripping characters, high-tension cinematography and January Jones dressed as the White Queen. (See: “Activities worth £12”, above)
I have to agree with others that the Captain America movie looks the most promising out of the marvel movies this year.
I believe in this rule of three you are not wrong though, I feel that X-Men First Class will be the one to bomb. Mainly as it treads on a line of not taking itself seriously enough in some areas and taking itself too seriously in others at the same time.
Dark Knight Rises will no doubt be at least decent, its hard not to trust that, but who knows.
Green Lantern, I’m just not sure. I don’t really want to see it, but I can’t pinpoint if it will be good or bad or what else.
This has nothing at all to do with the blog post. But:
I feel like your official Fantasy Author Title should be “The Mountain That Writes”. Mountain in the sense that I think even a medium-strength punch from you would stop my heart.
This spurious and out-of-place comment brought to you by me pondering “which fantasy authors could I beat in a fight?” (Things were going pretty well until I thought of you.)