Let me tell you a story. A story about a man named Patrick Rothfuss.
Born into poverty in South Korea as a poor Irish immigrant, Patty Fussy was a man who didn’t think much of himself. Like many Irish immigrants in South Korea during the Cold War, he suspected his life was planned out in advance: he would live trying to please an angry aunt, he would fight in a war, he would die and a state-appointed minister would say “I never liked that guy” when he was lowered into the ground.
But Patty Fussy had another calling. When he awoke to enlist, he found his face drowning in a sea of hair. His eyes went wide at the marvels before him: beard dolphins capered and cavorted in his curly locks, the song of the beard whale reverberated into his very soul and David Attenborough was doing a documentary on the abyssal depths within. So mad with wonder was he that he went on a rampage, feeding his beard the blood it needed to grow mightily.
Years later, Patty Fussy, now known as Patrick Rothfuss for legal reasons, still attempts to atone for his grievous sins. Will he ever reach heaven? Will he ever find the peace he seeks from the maddening howls of those souls now trapped within his beard like a hairy phylactery?
Who gives a crap. Let’s talk about the chance to win some signed books.
If you’ve followed Patrick at all, you know he does some fantastic work for the Worldbuilders charity, helping to fight poverty across the globe. While admittedly some of my story about him was embellished, I occasionally wonder if he does actually have some grievous sin to atone for, so involved in this charity is he.
This year, he’s got some fairly sexy signed books to give away for people who donate. For every 10 dollars you donate, you can get a chance to win books by such magnificent authors as Diana Gabaldon, George R.R. Martin, Robert Jordan, Brandon Sanderson or by such reprobates as Sam Sykes and Jim Butcher.
Being the lovely people you are, you don’t need a lot of reason to donate to charity in the time of year when your guilt is at its peak (as well it should be, you luxuriant peacock, you), but there’s nothing wrong with an added incentive, right?
All the details are right here in his blog post and in the previous one I linked. If you’re looking for a charity or if you’re looking for some signed, often rare books, this is the place you go.
Please. Make sure Patrick doesn’t wind up in hell.