A number of you might recall me mentioning appearing at LepreCon this past week.
A greater number of you might recall me raving wildly about my appearing at LepreCon and begging you over a tear-stained copy of Tome of the Undergates to come listen to me and validate my existence.
And a select few of you might possess memories born in half-dream stupors of me standing over you while you slept, gently stroking your hair while whispering private poems in broken Russian.
They are the luckiest of all…assuming they continue not to press charges.
Anyway, I am pleased to report that LepreCon was an immense success. Organized by the fine Lee Whiteside, and attended by such creatures of myth as George R.R. Martin, it provided fertile ground for a meeting of minds and a spewing of stuff that I desperately hoped people thought I knew enough to talk about.
Despite my earlier travesties at EasterCon, I consider LepreCon to be my very first panel ever, since I actually got to talk about writing (which I know a fair deal about) at this one. I am pleased to report that most people seemed to think that my oratory went over quite well. Barely anyone suspected I was a fraud, and those that did suspected things on a highly personal level, rather than a professional one. I gave panels on Pacing (with Melinda Snodgrass) and on the Perils of Writing Epic Fantasy (with George himself and Mr. James A. Owen, whom I highly recommend you check out right now). It was a delight to do so and I was amazed that I was able to keep myself from throwing myself over the table and into the audience. I was so amazed that I threw myself at an elderly guest at the hotel who is now in a coma, he was so amazed.
Equally amazing was my first book-signing. Yes! I told you Tome of the Undergates would be on sale at LepreCon! But you didn’t believe me! Well, you look pretty stupid now, don’t you? Sitting there with your Tome-less hands, wondering what all the people with copies are talking about as they whisper between each other and occasionally glance in your direction.
They’re talking about you.
And how much they hate you.
But it’s not too late! You can still get yerself a copy, as I’ve been informed that Goldsboro books is getting a HEAP O’ COPIES, all signed and secreted upon by myself! And, if you’re in the US, you can still get them at The Poisoned Pen (or wait until Pyr publishes them in September!)
In addition, the good people at the Poisoned Pen made me a cake out of the cover of Tome of the Undergates! I will endeavor to get you a picture as soon as I can. Now, I must inform you that George has not yet read my book (though he professes to be eager to), he is a busy man, after all. Of the cake, though, he had this to say:
Sam Sykes’ book is creamy and delicious…also, I saw a lot of people picking at it earlier and they seemed to like it, too.
High praise, my friends. High praise.
So, it was a good event, but the fun does not stop there, my friends!
Lee Whiteside is also organizing this year’s Phoenix Comicon and has graciously decided to overlook my many felonies by inviting me to do a few panels on breaking into the genre and discussing the various sub-genres, such as paranormal romance (of which I am a convicted expert) and steampunk. Come to see it, why don’t you? And see the various other guests, including Stan Lee, James Marsters and Felicia “God DAMN” Day!
I hear tell she once said something nice about Joe Abercrombie. In my efforts to out-do him in all things, including siring two children of my own, I will defeat him in this, as well.
Be there or be SHORN OF HAIR.
P.S. Did I not tell you I’d show it to you? Behold, Tome of the Undercakes.
Yes the LepreCon was a Goddamned good time! I wish I had been able to stay for more than the first couple of days.
In addition to getting to sip wine and chat mano y mano with Mr. Martin (not to mention getting him to sign every book I own with the name George or Martin on the cover), I met this amazing author, nay, sage that goes by the moniker Sam Sykes. Not only is he immeasurably entertaining, he can write! Furthermore, when I asked him to sign my copy of Tomes, he signed it not once but three times . . . and in three different sizes! Does his generosity know no bounds?
I am finishing up my current read as quickly as possible so I can begin Tomes of the Undergates. I am a mere 18 pages away and can already taste the action (and apparently female farts, but that may just be hearsay). Granted I will also need to put down my PS3 controller and turn off God of War, but Sam Sykes is worthy of such sacrifice.
I look forward to seeing Sam at the Phoenix Comicon and perhaps I will buy another copy of Tomes if he will sign it six times or just put a big thumbprint on the title page.
On the topic of outdoing all things Abercrombie, however, you will need to get a really cool “day job.” After all, in addition to writing amazing works of fiction he has a lucrative job as a film editor. According to Joe’s website, he is “…a freelance film editor, and has worked since on a dazzling selection of documentaries, awards shows, music videos, and concerts for artists ranging from Barry White to Coldplay.”
I’m thinking FBI Agent, Megan Fox’s Personal Assistant, or Game Show Host may put him to shame.
Cheers!
nice, it was fun (now I just need to find the time to write up my own report). By the way, just where did yo find that picture of the cake 🙂
Nice pic of the cake! Later that night, I ended up meeting the irreverent bastard that ate Lenk’s head.