Blogging is a particularly funny thing. It’s so often associated with time-wasting and dilly and/or dallying by various people with “real” jobs like swineherding and prostitution that there is this sort of underlying pressure to write something interesting with every post. We can probably blame some of this on Mark Charan Newton’s penchant for being the Martin Luther of fantasy bloggers, what with his interesting conversations and controversial interests.
Rest assured, there will be some severely interesting crap coming forth (metaphorically, not…not whatever you were thinking of), but for now let me just give you a run-down of what’s been going on.
I hate cats.
Yes, I’m aware some of you love cats. Yes, I’m aware some of you worship cats. Yes, I’m aware some of you continue to hold up Garfield the movie as Bill Murray’s opus. But I can’t help it. After last week, I no longer enjoy the company of these furry felons.
I like dogs. To be more specific, I like short dogs. I own a pug and a corgi, both very earthbound dogs. You see, short dogs come with a number of advantages: they make small messes, they attract the attentions of cooing females ages 18-67 and, most importantly, they cannot leap atop a desk and spill a giant cup of water on one’s computer.
Yes, while visiting my parents, my cat (who lives with them) decided that the water in her bowl just wasn’t good enough and went straight for the precariously-perched cup next to my Macbook. You could, theoretically, blame me for leaving it there, but that’s a “blame the victim” mentality. Surely, we’re all more progressive than that, right? Right. Anyway, the computer died and is now being looked at by the modern day Resurrection Man: tech support. Will this hamper progress? No! In fact…
Black Halo is nearly done.
Yes! The sequel to Tome of the Undergates is very near completion as we speak! Or, at the very least, its first draft is. At the moment, this book is something like an 80’s teenaged action hero at the beginning of the movie: clumsy, awkward, but with distinct talent and natural charm that makes us sympathetic when he gets bashed in the head. You can consider the editing process to be his montage, with my editors being a sort of collective Mr. Miyagi, condensing, streamlining, tweaking and prodding this clumsy creature until he is strong enough to defeat the villain, get the girl and maybe learn a little something about himself in the process. There might even be a few cameos!
…not Chuck Norris, though. I hated Sidekicks.
What can you expect from Black Halo, then? Wizard-hunting Librarians with man-eating hats? Tattooed reptiles with xenophobic mandates and spiked clubs? Long-jawed, purple-skinned warrior women with Nietzsche-esque philosophies? Tense, awkward romance punctuated by bludgeonings with a giant roach leg? Questions of faith? Of redemption? Of betrayal and the nature of humanity? ALL THIS AND MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!!$(%(%(%#
Believe it.
Also, Believe in Eastercon.
I just got back from the fantastic British-based convention a few days ago, in fact! While there, I discovered a number of things about the British: most of them subsist on a diet of undercooked meat and dry humor, some of them write books and maybe, just maybe, a few of them are also excited about my book. Speaking of…
Tome of the Undergates HITS SHELVES ON THE 15th!
That’s right! In the United Kingdom and Canada (and right now in Australia), Tome of the Undergates is coming to a store near you! Expect a balls-out post on the subject as the date approaches, including dates, praise, where to buy and maybe even where you can procure it state-side! Watch this space for more!
Good to be back, my friends. Let’s never be apart again.
Dear Sam – we hate you too, hence the water. luv lilwhitecats.=00= PS Small dogs are on the payroll, be mildly concerned.
You said before that Tome was out in Australia but I still can’t find it 🙁 Also, it’s your fault for owning an apple product
It surely is out in Australia, I managed to pick up a copy over here In S.A on the 6th. But there were only two on the shelf at the time.