Raiders of the Lost ARCs
When someone disagrees with you, is your first reaction to punch them in the genitals? Have you ever once, with a straight face, called a beaver a spy? Do you remember when Mel Gibson single-handedly fought back the British with the stars stripes instead of when he went all nuts and probably became a cannibal?
If you answered yes to any of these, you are probably American and thus, you are probably a pretty cool guy or girl to hang around! But more than that, you are eligible to WIN A SIGNED ADVANCED READING COPY OF TOME OF THE UNDERGATES BY SAM SYKES HOLY CRAP DID YOU JUST HAVE A HEART ATTACK SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR.
Please read the following italicized questions below in a shrill, nasal voice with tears in your eyes (but imagine the answers below them to be answered in my trademark booming, ursine baritone).
What the heck is this, Sam Sykes, you handsome devil?
What the crap does it look like? It’s an ARC giveaway for lucky readers in AMERICA before the book goes on sale in two months!
Well, I’ll be! I’M an American!
I thought your hair was looking quite shiny today. What conditioner do you use?
That’s besides the point, Sykes! How do I enter?
I’m glad you asked (because I wasn’t going to tell you, otherwise). Entering is easy!
Just give me ONE GOOD REASON why you deserve this ARC.
That’s it! Just email me through this here site and give me exactly one good reason why you deserve an Advanced Copy of Tome of the Undergates!
This seems awfully simple. Is there any catch?
None that you will know until it’s far, far too late.
Now see here. I’m an Austrian holdout from the Crimean War, huddled deep inside a bunker as I wait for news from the outside. Am I eligible for this contest? Is the war over?
Well, your day is about to get a lot worse! Sadly, this particular contest is for my bros in the United States only, as the Patriot Act forces me to give it up once in awhile. Also, I’m pretty sure you lost. Wait…how do you have internet?
Details! This means WAR between us, Sykes!
Well, that doesn’t make me feel any better!
But you might, if you enter today!
So do so!
Or I will RIP YOU APART.
Mishell Baker
8:57 pmJul-25-2010
One good reason? Can I give you two good reasons? Or one really bad reason? Or three and a half morally ambiguous reasons?
How about, “because if you don’t give it to me, I will call your dear old grandmother and tell her what you’ve been up to, young man”?
Amy Nichols
11:10 pmJul-25-2010
Because not only do I have a magical keychain, but I also listened to you speak at TWO separate Cons in one month. How’s THAT for a good reason, monkey boy?
DanielChuter
12:37 amJul-26-2010
How about you open the contest to Australians or I’ll swim to the US and shove your ARC so far up your fat American arse you’ll be spewing quotes for weeks.
Lee Whiteside
5:36 amJul-26-2010
If it were not for me, you would not have been able to meet James Owen, and thus would never have met Felicia Day.
Charlotte's Mom
7:28 pmJul-26-2010
Give it to me or you will never get a LOLcatbaby pic texted to you again. ^_^
Simcha
7:48 pmJul-26-2010
Perhaps this is not the most creative answer but I find your blog entertaining and would be interested in giving your book a try as well.
Greg
11:57 pmAug-1-2010
Aw… Come on to enter I have to be American is that not crule enough that it’s worth the ARC… Ok yes I’m an American and I’d hope that someday there is a help group for that…
Paul
2:01 amAug-28-2010
Well if you don’t send me a copy I will be forced to call on my friend Mel and give him permission to throttle you until you say uncle. Plus I really love reading new upcoming and unbelievably talented authors!!